I call upon Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan, who come out of nowhere lightning fast and kick you in your cowboy ass.

*blink*

*It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe/The fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed, but eventually, a champion stood: Dansariki in a blood stained sweater*

Ok...you commit seppuku.
My hill.

I hit you with a CareBearStare.

Pulling the bloodied blade from my middle, I stab you.

I run over you with the batmobile.

I deliver a kick/that could shatter bone/into the crotch/of Dansariki

I throw you off.
Aha.

I see what you did there ;) trying to confuse me eh? Well it won't work. Foolish child. I slice you up with a club. And a penguin. And a Club Penguin. And some chocolate biscuits.

Pulling myself together ( ;) ) I run, jump, and land on you, crushing your ribcage.

Taking a deep breath (...) I thrust a screwdriver through your face.

Pulling it out, I throw it at you, run, jump, and beat your head in with a rock.
Sometimes simple is best...

I quite agree.
You dead.
My hill.

Rising from the ground, I take you by the throat and slam you to the ground.
From the ground, you reply in kind, throwing me into a rock behind you, and as you are jumping up, I throw a grenade.
Quick as a fox, you kick it away as I fly through the air, shoving a grenade down your throat and throwing you into the air...

Oh, trying to be eloquent now? Very well.

As I am thrown into the air, I twist around, graceful as a (flying) dolphin, and pluck the grenade from the bowels of my throat. Your eyes widen at this feat of unbelievable 1337ness, as I hurl the grenade towards you. The grenade flies true, striking you in between the eyes. You only just have enough time to comprehend what just happened, before the grenade detonates, blowing you into a cloud of dust.

(Frag grenades don't do that)
As DC rests, considering just how 1337 he was, a cold voice sounds behind him:
"I've come you, David..."
Whirling around, tensed and ready, DC sees nothing.
"David..." comes another voice, different, seperate yet omnidirectional...
Sitting, DC shrugs off the voices, knowing he has a concussion and that it was likely the cause for the classically cliches...
Tapping DC's shoulder, then ramming a sword through DC's neck, Dansariki says "I wouldn't ignore your unconcious, it warns us."
Walking away from the now-fallen body, Dansariki says over his shoulder, "Too bad yours wasn't better."

....

I think you both got owned.

*Smacks Nero*
BITCHSLAPPED AHAHAHA.
Hill be mine now, thank you, yes?

I piss on the Hill and walk away.

Leaving a supernova bomb in my wake.

*click*

Boom.

Silly Apollo. Liquid travels, and it went down the hill with you.

I play around with the ashes that remain.