Dansariki then grabs his Desert Eagle and promptly removes a rather important part of Nero's head.
Barrel smoking, the massive handgun is placed back in it's holster...

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NOT HURTING THE UN OBSERVER?

Dansariki then tosses the dead bodies off the hill, saying "the hill is bad enough as it is without the stench of bodies adding to it."

Apollodeclares war on the UN.

Apollouppercuts Dansariki with chainsaw. GoW2 style.

Grabbing an Energy sword, Dansariki stabs through Apollo's midsection, à la Halo.
As Apollo falls to his knees, an F-16 roars overhead...

I push Datsyuk off the hill.

I push DC off Hill and claim it! Everyone go away!

No!
I stab Apollo to death with my face.
I claim the hill.

*Trys to make visual sense of DC's statement, fails*
Dodging several missiles (damn UN F-16s), Dansariki uses his Obsidian blade to snuff DC's pitiful life out.

Datsyuk stands triumphantly over DC's corpse, when in true horror movie fashion, DC suddenly leaps up and chews Datsyuk's neck open.

Throwing the zombie aside, Dansariki blows it's head off with a double-barreled shotgun.

Apollo colors all the words in his sentence, causing Dansariki to suffer a fatal epileptic seizure.

Much to Apollo's disappointment, Datsyuk's fatal seizure was not caused by the coloured words...it was Datsyuk's punishment for using the wrong kind of its.

The zombie that was once DC picks up its head and throws it at Apollo, where it chews Apollo's spleen out.

Stumbling a cursing under his breath, Apollo rips out his own spleen, and, while waiting for it regenerate, smashes the head under his foot. As DC's former body falls to the ground, Apollo walks up to it and throws some recently acquired Gasoline over the body.
"That was mine, bastard." Comes an ominous tone from behind him.
Turning, The mighty Sun God merely raises an eyebrow at the flaming halo surrounding Dansariki.
"Oooh, pretty. Mind coming over and lighting him for me," he asks, "O' mighty flaming one?"
Eyes narrowed, Dansariki lights the gas-soaked body, then incinerates the god.
"That should shut him up for a bit..." he mutters, as Apollo's ashes fall to the scorching ground...

Gingerbreadman, descending from the flying party, threw up the universe over Dansariki, and proceeded to bury him and a huge pile of tangerines.
And so, once again peace was restored to the hill an he sat on his throne composed entirely of nostril hair dandruff and he saw that it was good.

Dansariki wrote:then incinerates the god.

Setting fire to a sun god is one of the daftest ideas I've heard all week. He's a sun god. ><

David Cat wrote:David Cat rips Apollo's spleen out without breaking the skin and takes control of the hill.

Why? Does he have Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura?
anyway. I can do that too. With my face. From 500 yards away.

I infect GBM with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and ACETYLSERYLTYROSYLSERYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLSERYL
PROLYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLVALYLPHENYLA
LANYLLEUCYLSERYLSERYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLALANYLASP
ARTYLPROLYLISOLEUCYLGLUTAMYLLEUCYLLEUCYLASPAR
AGINYLVALYLCYSTEINYLTHREONYLSERYLSERYLLEUCYLG
LYCYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMI
NYLTHREONYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLALANYLARGINYLT
HREONYLTHREONYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTA
MINYLPHENYLALANYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLTRYPTOPH
YLLYSYLPROLYLPHENYLALANYLPROLYLGLUTAMINYLSERY
LTHREONYLVALYLARGINYLPHENYLALANYLPROLYLGLYCYL
ASPARTYLVALYLTYROSYLLYSYLVALYLTYROSYLARGINYLT
YROSYLASPARAGINYLALANYLVALYLLEUCYLASPARTYLPRO
LYLLEUCYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLALANYLLEUCYLLEUCYLG
LYCYLTHREONYLPHENYLALANYLASPARTYLTHREONYLARGI
NYLASPARAGINYLARGINYLISOLEUCYLISOLEUCYLGLUTAM
YLVALYLGLUTAMYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINY
LSERYLPROLYLTHREONYLTHREONYLALANYLGLUTAMYLTHR
EONYLLEUCYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLARGINYLARGIN
YLVALYLASPARTYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLVALYLALA
NYLISOLEUCYLARGINYLSERYLALANYLASPARAGINYLISOL
EUCYLASPARAGINYLLEUCYLVALYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMY
LLEUCYLVALYLARGINYLGLYCYLTHREONYLGLYCYLLEUCYL
TYROSYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLASPARAGINYLTHREON
YLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMYLSERYLMETHIONYLSERYLGLYC
YLLEUCYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLTHREONYLSERYLALANYLPRO
LYLALANYLSERINE, more commonly known as the tobacco mosaic virus. I take the hill.

Page-stretchingly silly virus chemical name now with line breaks ~Sentynel

... No comment. seeing as mine was at least real.

David Cat wrote:Page-stretchingly silly virus chemical name now with line breaks ~Sentynel

It did not page-stretch! I would have noticed.

Also, GBM, both those things are very real indeed.