We count down the number of "facts" that we can now use in life. You can put down only one or you can put down ten facts. They can be spoofs or real morals.

100 - Wearing Fruit Perfume makes men with short cropped hair have a large intake of testosterone.

99 - Always carry a silver knife

98 - Don't mess with Gladstone

I haven't read the series in a while that it took me a few minutes to come up with these

97 - Don't high-five a golem, especially if you're a spirit.

96 - Walls are always preferable to doors.

95 - Never forget to add a Tertiary Fettering when you're summoning a Marid, or it might tear your leg off before the automatic Dismissal activates.

I'll give it a go:
94- Make friends, not enemies.
93- Always watch your back.
92- The crazier the dude, the more powerful. (not always though)

91- Never assume a footstool to be a djinn.
90- A skeleton is worse than a living thing bound in blood, muscles and skin.
89- If you are a magician, never mess with the son of a famous book binder.

Hopefully this is right. :)
88. Run when not confident of beating up enemy.
87. Never leak your true name.
86. Try not to overthrow government when somebody like John(not sure how to spell his other name) is part of it.

Nathaniel? You just needed to look at my user name. Just above you=D.
The very first time I saw the word "Nathaniel' in the book, I read it as "Nainital".

85. Never to step out a pentacle when summoning a demon spirit (but I would, anyways, if I summoned Barti♥♥)
84. Never act like a douche-bag and then regret it, because then you'll give up your life to save your city, instead of running away with your girlfriend.

83- Heroic death is something advocated by writers and politicians only. Hence, they must be ignored.

nathanielandbartimaeus wrote:Nathaniel? You just needed to look at my user name. Just above you=D.
The very first time I saw the word "Nathaniel' in the book, I read it as "Nainital".

Ooops , sorry about that. didn't look. :$

82 - We all have our issues. Some are talkative, some look like fields of buttercups.

81 - Who cares about artifacts; throw whatever crap you need to kill your enemy.

80 - When the government comes around, always pretend you're in a relationship with the closest opposite sex beside you, even if you hate each other.

79 It's advisable to wear a hella lot of anti-aging cream when going to the Other Place.
78 When trying to uncover Resistance members, try to realize that names can't be taken at face value. Very few people actually have as an official name "Kitty." (In fact, don't even expect the names said to even be real names. If Fred and co. were smart they would have called each other something different from their birth name.)
77 When trying to get revenge against enemies, have a back up plan. This could help protect your house against angry arsonists.

76- Crazy spirits are more fun than sane spirits.
75- Keeping a simple thing like your name hidden from the masses, the govt., and spirits can be a pain.
74- There is no 74.

73. kick-ass Beards make you virtually unkillable
72. If someone has a suspiciously big rug that just arrived over a glass floor be wary of what lies beneath
71.if you're in a romantic situation and a clubfooted frog tries to get near you and your love interest go somewhere else.

70. Watch where you are playing baseball cause an evil green monkey might come and attack you.

69. Do not step on spiders, one of them might be Barti in disguise.

68. Do not follow sketchy kids through sketchy alley ways for a newspaper. You might get jumped.

67. If you were a major or minor character, try not to be in town during Ptolemy's Gate.
66. Power in numbers doesn't always apply in the Barti Universe.
65. Its often easier to abuse a spirit, then to build a trust/friendship with it.
64. Just because you're a bad@$$, doesn't mean you're completely immune to unpleasant things like pestilences.

63. If an Afrit doesn't obey you try and you've tried everything do your best not to cause him to explode.
62. You body is a temple, Nouda will probably do more harm than a pack of cigarettes.
61. as much as tower envy was a driving force in Renaissance Italy chair envy is a big factor in London politics be showy without upstaging you're boss

Asmoral_The_Resolute wrote:62. You body is a temple, Nouda will probably do more harm than a pack of cigarettes.

You made me laugh and splutter my Vimto :'(

60: If you see someone carrying a powerful magical staff, don't engage in villain banter with them.

59 - Succubuses (succubi?) Are most certainly not sexy and will eat you, therefore there is no point in summoning one.
58 - Don't paint your house pink if you live in Prague.
57 - Never, ever accept a wager from an intelligent spirit, it will likely end ugly for you.

56 - Shortbread is tasty in revenge.

55. if you're a foliot don't assume that the creature in front of you is an imp just because he says so
54. Calling some one " Oh Ace one " is not the best compliment but it certainly is the funniest
53. if you plan to abuse some kid who has access to mites bring a can of mosquito spray that'll throw a spanner in the works.
52.If a skeleton has just killed your mate is explaining to you that he intends to violently disembowel you don't get caught up in idle chit chat, make good your escape.
50.double check you're spellbook