Short stories

Book Discussion
Alec Foliot
4 Sep 09 - 11:32
:welcome: to the short storys thread

Recently ive been writing a lot of short stories and reading them thanks to my English teacher, so I thought there should be a place to talk about your favourite ones and even post some you’ve written. I am going to put up one or two of my favourites that ive written mostly sci-fi horror ones but I am just curious if any one else enjoys them?

:thnks:


"The slime turned on the corpse melting and absorbing it within a few seconds. Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream ?cabbage!? as she jumped out of the window, landing uneasily on the out side."
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4 Sep 09 - 15:30
Many over here love sci-fi. So put your stories, we will read them.
I like short stories of O'Henry.
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Alec Foliot
5 Sep 09 - 22:22
>.< sorry i had to delite it all personal resions


"The slime turned on the corpse melting and absorbing it within a few seconds. Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream ?cabbage!? as she jumped out of the window, landing uneasily on the out side."
5 Sep 09 - 23:00
Alec wrote:Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream “cabbage!”
xD
sentynel is gay
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Sentynel One with The Other Place
admin
5 Sep 09 - 23:01
David Cat wrote:
Alec wrote:Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream “cabbage!”
xD
Cabbage makes me scream in horror too.
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Alec Foliot
5 Sep 09 - 23:11
>.< forgot about sencors, well but you get the drift of it so what do you think?


"The slime turned on the corpse melting and absorbing it within a few seconds. Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream ?cabbage!? as she jumped out of the window, landing uneasily on the out side."
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Nero Higher Spirit
5 Sep 09 - 23:51
David Cat wrote:
Alec wrote:Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream “cabbage!”
xD
Bwahahahahahaha.

Nitpicking: Could use some spacing.

A few sentences don't run as smoothing as they could if you put in words such as: and, + synonyms etc. etc.

E.g. It was stationed just in front of our only escape, (here it seems awkward) it was strange it almost seemed like it was staring at us, eyeing us up like a wolf gauging it’s prey.

Natalie's character seems almost... unlikely (i.e. throwing herself at the goo)

Otherwise so far not too shabby.
Alec Foliot
5 Sep 09 - 23:54
Nattalie is really really quite unless around cooper i just tried to guess what it would be like if he died infront of her, also i hammed it up for fun =P

ill work on the sentance structure thanks

over all thanks.

and ive editied it to no longer say cabbadge.


"The slime turned on the corpse melting and absorbing it within a few seconds. Ms Hunt let out a horrified scream ?cabbage!? as she jumped out of the window, landing uneasily on the out side."
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9 Sep 09 - 03:07
Aww. Didn't get to read it.

Might do some stories in practice for NaNoWriMo. If I do, I'll post 'em.


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