DOL: I liked the first one, put you need more puncuation, especially commas. The second one was OK but not as cool as the first.

Welcome to bartiforums. Have a cookie.

Thanks Ianna,

DOL- I agree with Anuk, I like the second one too, it is very true.

AnukSuNamon wrote: Have a cookie.

No!! I'm going to give the cookie!
Welcome, have a cookie! ^^

Yakaii, where have you been?

Exams... Next week I'll have oral exams but then it'll be over... Thanks God... :)

Welcome back!

Oh thanks! ^^

I wrotet another one just for the heck of it...

This one is happier

The Rose

A blossoming flower unique indeed
Striking with beauty a picture of grace
red pedals of velvet, the rarest breed
diverse from all, amidst thorns it is lace
When the skies are grey the rose remains red
Through violent storms, erect the rose stands
Roots and gravity, ties of earthly thread
When others give in, erect the rose stands
A rose with pedals that refuse to wilt
Rigid yet gentle, Determined and strong
caring and cordial, how the rose is built
The vibrant rose sings a colourful song
In this eventful world you are the rose
Unyeilding and graceful, the velvet rose

I didn't really understand it but it's nice. Well done. ^^

Too fluffy <_<

But still good.

Yakaii wrote: I didn't really understand it but it's nice. Well done. ^^

I am comparing a rose to a person

The rose always red always showing its colors.
When the sky is grey, the rose remains bright
When times are rough the rose still stands
a person who doesnt give up when others do

*Yawn.* Good, good....

Hah that's me! ^^ Or someone who I want to be...

Like the smooth sun-soaked river,
you hold me in your arms
against the rising tide.
Like the wind pushing me forward,
helping me along.
I was enclosed like a flower,
not ready to bloom.
You have help me.
You have shown me courage.
You have shown me joy beyond my wildest dreams,
by excepting what I give you.
You have shown me happiness,
by smiling everyday.
You have shown me,
inner peace.
You have shown me....
Life

That's wonderful, DOL! Not to fluffy but not to hardcore, either. Perfect!

Very good!

Auto Bio

I'm gone disappeared
Invisible
First Glances leaves me hanging by a thread.
Time stops
Tick Tock goes the clock
Reading late into the night
I'm silently weeping
Clip Clop Clip Clop
Voices heard
I'm not really there
I'm whispering
I'm lost in the deep sea
Blah Blah Blah,
Mumble I say,
What's that?
Lying underneath my skin
I think my time has passed before my eyes.
It's seven-thirty-five
Hearts shattered,
I'm wounded
Rise of nations
Pitter Patter
The sound of rain slowly dripping down my
skin.
Sound overwhelming
Gun shots piercing the sky
I'm alone
I'm lost in space,
A great beyond
How to save a life,
Where did I go wrong?
Grey's Anatomy
I'm dying
I've been dying for a long time
Hospitals, full of sadness
Never touching the ground
Poetry, stories
Love and Hatred
I've never "loved" outside of my family.
Final Fantasy
Swords and magic, creature's beyond
imagination.
I'm in a new world
Sadness, seeping through the cracks in my
skin.
Failure
Curse's man for life
Gods and Demons, different but the same.
I've never understood
I have no meaning
I have no part
I would think. No never think.
Reflex
Running far away
Down, down, slipping away forever
Food
Yes food, so tasty yet so sour
I've not had food
I'm lying down, deep into a cushion
snoring away into a light sleep
I hear a shrill scream, I'm awake and moving now,
no still sleeping, no dreaming, maybe a
nightmare
Fighting to get ahead
Slowly falling behind
Finding out true meaning
I'm stuck effort upon effort
I'm in clock, winding away, ticking away
A soft touch
Yes I say
How the future began
I have thoughts, so complicated,
I don't understand
Bloody dice, funny isn't it
Bags with skulls on them
I'm straight, I say but others think I'm gay, yes gay.
Others say I'm gay.
I have thought about race
What about poverty?
Never listening.
Hey I say to the black void
I'm shaving with my grandfather
Dead for two years
Laughing on the side lines
Holding, holding on, never letting go
Twitching uncontrollably
Oh my Goddess
Greek myths so entrancing
Celtic tunes so harmonious
Silently laughing
All those times, long gone
Places and people, I have loved, but lost
You bring out the devil in me
A cup I own
Fantasy rules my life
Star Wars
Yes Star Wars, lightsabers, and blaster fire
I'm here, don't be afraid
How did I get here?
It's been something I longed for
I never reached far enough
I fell
I didn't get back up again
Weighed down
The stars are shinning bright. Never dull I say
just wearing out
Everything wears out, even you and me
I would say life is a gift, and I have found life,
On my front door step.

That is Perfect...
sad yet happy
I feel like I can relate to it.

Edit-

Essence Ballet

When the sun rises as does, the essence
With the birds the soul sings a hallowed air
The dancing spirit, an endless presence
Dancing and singing, free from despair
No rain can dampen the brightest life force
No rain can submerge the soul's lullaby
The essence, through all, will seize its course
Even devoid of wings, the soul will fly
A ballet for life, the dancing prolongs
Singing and dancing, singing and dancing
The essence lives, perpetually strong
Thriving spirit, only at death, glancing
Eternal alive, essence ballet
Naught can inhibit the essence ballet

no meaning behind this one really

DOL, it's good but I don't care for it. (No offense)

Adele: Good, not my type, but good.

Little Bianca is 13 years old,
She's tryin' to figure why the world is so cold,
Why she's not skinny and God doesn't like her,
So many problems in her head doctors don't get her,
Thoughts race through her head,
She does nothing but lies in her bed,
Doesn't realize what lies outside.
Little Bianca is forced to stick up for her own,
Forced to think hell is a place called home.
Nothing else to do but get her clothes and pack,
She says she's bout to runaway and never come back.

Inspired by Ludacris' Runaway Love Follows the same format.

I never read Runaway, Love Follows, but it seemed intresting if it was the inspiration for your poem.