I got most of these from the internet, so I don't know who they're from, but anyways:

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.