Hey everyone!

What do you think is the funniest line in the bartimaeus trilogy? It can be a footnote, or something said. By bartimaeus, kitty, or even nathaniel! Tho, i think it will probaly be from bartimaeus. Mine is from the golems eye, when they were in the town square...

I retracted my wing briefly, held the boy so he had a quick view of the square.
"Take a look," I said. "Which house do you think has the thinnest walls?"

For a moment, he was uncomprehending. Then his eyes widened. "You're
not---"

"That one? With the pink shutters? Yes, maybe you're right. Well, let's see..."

There is a funniest insults page....

But whatever.

My favourite line was when Bartimaeus first got summoned by Nat in GE and he was saying something about Nat following Whitewell's every habit.

"...I bet you even pick your nose like her"

:D

There are so many funny lines but this is one of the funniest, in my opinion

"I wanted to wake u straitaway but i knew i had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered"
"What! how long has it been?"
Five minutes. I got bored"

lmao, i remember that one!

I don't this is the funniest line in the whole trilogy, but this is a quote that came to mind which I liked:

" . . . Because I know what carried out the raid. It goes by the unseemly name of Bartimaeus. A middle-ranking djinni of great impudence and small intelligence.

At this point someone with excellent hearing might have heard a spurt of webbing being shot furiously into the ceiling in the corner of the room. Fortunately, the imp was busy trying to intimidate Underwood by changing it's frozen expression very, very slowly . . ."

I liked the sentence Bart made at the end of AoS. He asked Nat to use Faquarl next time as he is a hard worker & recommended him for draining a lake with a sieve. I remember I laughed aloud then.

And counting grains of sand on a beach, lol

Yeah that's it. I was trying to recall what the other suggestion was.

Funniest quote? Well, so far, I've gotta say... That whole thing with the recipe for how to take out an Uttuku! (Amulet of Samrkand)

Nat throwing pokers(or was it something else?) at Bart. And Bart trying to dodge them(in PG). Bart said something really funny then....a pathetic display & both missing out by miles or something.

Oh yeah i remember that bit....

''He snarled lunged weakly with his spear . The lioness flinched sideways and sliced down at the spear shaft with her claw . It was a pathetic display all around : we both missed by miles...''

Thanks, that was it. There are soooo many others....I suppose the footstool one has been mentioned many times. And when Nat sprouts all that lies towards the end in AoS.....it was brilliant!

The books are brilliant - just stating the obvious.

umbreo wrote:The books are brilliant

umbreo wrote:This one as well:

I flicked my tongue in a lefterly direction.
"Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird . . . but somehow I like his style."
"That is a footstool. No one's using that pentacle."

The whole previous paragraph to this quote is very funny too. The Golem's Eye, Page 391.

I remember I actually laughed out loud at that. I don't even know why - it wasn't remarkably funny, but eh ... weird sense of humor I guess.

Hm... My favorite line is... That's a hard one. I guess it would have to be in Amulet of Samarkand, where Bartimaeus was tunneling under Lovelace's house. I don't remember it exactly, and I don't have a copy of the book with me, but it was something like this:

I did hit my head five times on a pebble, however.(footnote begin) Not the same pebble five times, mind you. Once each on five different pebbles. Sometimes you human beings are so dense.(footnote end)

klevy- wrote:

umbreo wrote:This one as well:

I flicked my tongue in a lefterly direction.
"Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird . . . but somehow I like his style."
"That is a footstool. No one's using that pentacle."

The whole previous paragraph to this quote is very funny too. The Golem's Eye, Page 391.

I remember I actually laughed out loud at that. I don't even know why - it wasn't remarkably funny, but eh ... weird sense of humor I guess.

i loved that part! laughed so much. XD

i also loved *searches for book*

"that th-thing," he stammered. "what is it?"
a fair enough question. what was it, this thing that distorted the planes and disrupted the most powerful magic, when only one arm had actually come through? I could have said something dramatic and eerie like 'The death of us all!' but htat wouldn't have got us very far. Besides, he'd only have asked again.
(Amulet of Samarkand, pg 445)

i think the funniest line is definitely when he is talking to honorius and the afrit comments on how he likes to eat overly talkitive djinni and bartemaeus is like "mmmn?"

Footstool one is brilliant. :D

And then there's always this one from Amulet of Samarkand, page 151:

"These polite asterisks replace a short, censored episode characterized by bad language and some sadly necessary violence. When we pick up the story again, everything is as before, except that I am perspiring slightly and the contrite imp is the model of cooperation."

When I first read that, I laughed out loud.
Still brings a stupid grin to my face :)