I'm not really sure if I should write this question formally or not, but here it is: has anybody ever had the nerve to tell Faquarl to get back in the kitchen where he belongs, and make a sandwich? Or something else along a similar vein...it just seems like the sort of thing that would go downhill quickly, and end rather badly for both parties involved. Something involving kitchen knives I think, but there you have it, my unusually silly question.

Thanks for letting me waste your time, and hoping for an answer:)

Hi Fio,

Well, I think it's pretty safe to say that Bartimaeus will have more than once made loudly caustic remarks about Faquarl's fondness for kitchen-related guises. And it's equally safe to say that Faquarl's response to these gibes will have been swift, decisive, and probably violent. It's unclear when Faquarl first began to favour chef's guises - though his delight in large sharp weapons was already well-developed in Solomon's day. I imagine that Bart and F began to bicker about cooking and cutlery around the time of their major-league foodfight in ancient Assyria (mentioned in a footnote in PG). Doubtless they kept the argument bubbling for most of the ensuing 2500 years.

J